After years of therapy – It feels like I’m back to square one.

I was sexually abused by my narcissistic father when I was around 6 years old.

He wasn’t the first to sexually abuse me. It happened 3 more times. With 3 different people. 2 of them which have died, some years ago.

My mother knew about some. Never did anything about it.

I moved to London when I was 18. After years of homelessness, getting fired from job to job, going into therapy, making a career, meeting many lovers…After 11 years in London between drugs, alcohol, sex-addiction and more, I finally decided to move back somewhere in the Mediterranean. Where I was born.

My mom and my dad sold all properties that were supposed to be inherited by us (brothers&sisters). Cashed in the money.

None of us saw a dime.

My sister is raising children in poverty. My brother is in a loveless parenthood relationship with a girl that’s affected with OCD.

I now am back in the Mediterranean. Having to sublet my flat on Airbnb just to pay the rent.

I am almost 30. Don’t have a place where I can call ‘home’, or come back for a while.

My rental term ends in March. Please pray for me, whether you’re religious or not. Pray for me, send good energies, in love and light.

I wish to be able to let this go. And I can’t. I know I should – but damn, I can’t 🙁

I need to get a job. Buy a small boat where I can live. And be alone in silence and recovery, for while.

I want to be me, again 🙁 I miss me. I miss what I used to be. The way I coped with my problems and fought back.

Now it feels like all energies are abandoning me.

Love you all. ALL.