extremes :(

physically ohmy……i look and feel like a crackhead. itchy and bitchy and ARGGGGGGG,,,i take lil comfort in not crazy, doesnt seem to matter. i cant stand people who wallow in miisery but i am one….

i do feel lighter, wierd, aint like i didnt know, having that blasted at moi for yrs. meh quit caring and taking it personal longgg time ago. shrug idk maybe haters can get on with their own journeys now. world is one crazy place.

lessons will be learned no doubt but at what cost, crushed families and idk people need to get it. everything we do is public, mostly irelevant to anybody except the involved in endless mini dramaès…sad world but itès what we have.

i do thing i am alone cept for the garbage i let in and meh filtered to NO PART OF MOI andd sereously cant imagine why anything or body would assume to have input to me personally. cept for in reality anddd sighhhh i have to limit to exsist. sad freakin life yup… i fail to see how anybody can see me as strong…positive is work and for me overwhelming, aint getting up, cant even try…..aging to the speed of now….

to see myself in the eyes of other i come alive…is that all we really are, a reflection of what others see. confused lady today…sad and idk i have soooo much and how can i not be estatic for all i have and greatful for so many blessing….maybe alone it means nothing, nobody to share and the few that try and support i am just a drain…is this natonal suiicide prevention week…fabulous. ummmm even in my darkest hours I KNOW this to shall pass, hang on and sereously i am going to seek smiles and hugs and comfort where i can…cant take it anymore. I AM A HUMAN BEING!