handling failure and rejection

all my life I have been rejected in jobs, clubs, sports team at school, any group thing at school I was the last to be chosen so I was never popular. I thought it would get better as I got into adulthood but it got worse. rejected in relationship sexually was so painful questioning why does every other fat slut in town have a great cock to rock off and I don’t? why I was not welcome at clubs and in groups, why I was going to interviews and never getting the job. I now realise people seen me as a disability mentally challenged type all those years when I thought I was just normal. never married never had children never had a full-time job for long, own nothing, just never been good enough girl or women to be worthy!