I want a suprise party

I turn 31 in a week and the biggest thing I want is a surprise party, just once. I want to be showered with attention by friends and family who came together for the sole purpose of celebrating my existence. While I think some people I know would be interested in arranging it, I’m also deeply ashamed of asking or hinting to anyone that I want it. In fact, I downplay my birthday HARD and even tell people I’d rather they didn’t make a big deal of it and that they don’t need to give me anything. This stems from being raised in a very Christian household that expected me to be humble and selfless. I was also always quiet and shy, as expected of a “good Christian girl” so I learned early to swallow my “selfish” desires. But they’re still there, silently burning me inside to be the center of attention.

Just once, I’d love to be given a surprise party, with balloons and a cake.