sick of your tantrums

yeh your allowed to bung on an act but you don’t like me or anyone else expressing their anger or hurt, I just walk away from you because you have done nothing to help me with my pain and loneliness. I had a dream this morning that B was alive and all I could feel was missing him when I told someone I just seen his son playing him at some event on a paper board as a friend. I just wanted to see B. I was so hurt. I felt like all my life everyone has worked against me finding love. I felt pain for the love I could have had with men. I wanted to ride a man and have sex but so many people where literally stopping me in my dream holding and tying me up and ganging me, I was not allowed to smile and feel pretty or loved. I woke up and realised it was no dream, I am near 50 and childless and never been married with income or career and I am expected to have money for this holiday and I need help from some bitch or ass man until someone helps me like I helped others I am not doing a thing or listening to your tantrums. you of all people.