i dont fear death

ummm specially not as the result of anything i do outside reality…seriously i smoke enough to be my own desease and meh i am not very nice to myself…it’s a theme. idk something i face head on and i know what is possible i just think someone is in charge of all that and thy will be done. i just gotta live it…in gratitude and joy.

split i have ... MORE

what is it

about moi that makes guys run like scared little girls. sighhhhhh. i feel like such a harmless creature. what does everybody else see. bah going out and having some fun…ièld rather be alone than deal with endless rejection and fear. what is sooo fricken scarry about me. gezzzzzzz

i aint a witch or

a seerer…ummm more puppet as we all r anddd common sense. really aint like ya cant see most of this shit coming.

ummm i am sorta kinda pleased with myself…for an old lady…not bad baaaahhhhhaaaaaa. itès fun to occationally feel like a female again. 😉

lonely and disparate but

not that much…lolololol was just crawlin out my own skin with lonely when i realized…things could be worse. hard to believe buttt true. endless dead ends abuse degradation and all the other lovely things this world holds. blah.

did run across posiblity for future and it did help…even the posiblity of something is better than the bottomless pit i live ... MORE

smile??????

blah…i was smiling and bopping like crazy yesterday…i do that over reality and real people. my life as some punchline in a joke just makes me sad…..and i am. dont know why i dont get a life sighhhhhhhh. meh getting some work done and that’s good. getting things done makes me happy.

whispered secrets

MY ASS! this is my REALITY! it’s inhuman and those that play with it welllll there’s karma for those who dont believe 😉

i cant be sorry for

being a human being :(. i am not purfect and walls surround me……..it aint right so how can anything else be. people were not meant to walk this world alone and i have been for soooo long it scares me. that and ummmmmmm who can blame me for biting that cookie. lolol….ummm i do believe what will be will be and that which is not will not….rather depressing ... MORE

disappointed

meh i think i deserve to be hugged and kissed and stuff. appearently those in charge disagree. and tomorrows another day and another adventure and life goes on……but tonight blahhhhhhhh

i do NOT live in a nice place

i live in a place that’s sad and lonely and inhumain…doing what i can to change it, not have a stroke andddd enjoy it. i do NOT want to work from home.

i…am a human being

i can not and will not live my life in isolation…….i desrve hugs if for no other reason then biological…really this week i will take what i can get :(. do not know why peeps r so hard on me and it makes me sad…I AM TIRED OF BEING SAD….i am going to go out there and find real for live people….i see NO happy in the sky but landed could be ... MORE